Tuesday
29Aug2006
Indisputable, Factual Reasons to Hate Aerosmith
Tuesday, August 29, 2006 at 6:32PM
Editor's Note: On November 9, 2004, a few Brontos (Ed, Chaz, and Joe) and I had a passionate (and pointless conversation) about Aerosmith's place in the rock and roll pantheon. I sent the following email that afternoon to sum up what I belive to be an air-tight case for Aerosmith's permanent placement on the rock and roll "B" list.
Thanks to Ed for reminding me of this conversation today.
To continue this afternoon's argument, here are some indisputable, factual reasons to hate Aerosmith:
- They wrote a song entitled "Eat The Rich." Ironic?
- The trilogy of suck - "Crying", "Amazing", and that song from the movie "Armageddon." Real rock bands don't do trite power ballads, especially trite power ballads that soundtrack God-awful movies.
- They released a greatest hits album in 1980. This is more or less a symbolic end to all musical creativity. Once a band releases a "greatest hits", they might as well stop releasing new music.
- Joey Kramer is a less-than-average drummer.
- From http://allmusic.com - "Three years later (2001), Aerosmith strutted their stuff on the halftime special on CBS with the likes of Mary J. Blige, Nelly, *N Sync, and Britney Spears. "Birds of a feather" if you ask me...
- Name 3 important Aerosmith albums from their "prime". That's right - you can't. (Because there aren't any, besides "Toys in the Attic") They don't produce albums - they produce singles. Stones, Beatles, Dylan, Led Zep, Who, Springsteen, etc. all, in the peak of their career, produced strings of entire albums full of good music.
Let's not kid ourselves - Aerosmith is a popular band from the 70s and 80s, but by no means are they "classic", or even "important".
Redeeming qualities:
2006 Update
They still suck:
Redeeming Qualities:
Thanks to Ed for reminding me of this conversation today.
To continue this afternoon's argument, here are some indisputable, factual reasons to hate Aerosmith:
- They wrote a song entitled "Eat The Rich." Ironic?
- The trilogy of suck - "Crying", "Amazing", and that song from the movie "Armageddon." Real rock bands don't do trite power ballads, especially trite power ballads that soundtrack God-awful movies.
- They released a greatest hits album in 1980. This is more or less a symbolic end to all musical creativity. Once a band releases a "greatest hits", they might as well stop releasing new music.
- Joey Kramer is a less-than-average drummer.
- From http://allmusic.com - "Three years later (2001), Aerosmith strutted their stuff on the halftime special on CBS with the likes of Mary J. Blige, Nelly, *N Sync, and Britney Spears. "Birds of a feather" if you ask me...
- Name 3 important Aerosmith albums from their "prime". That's right - you can't. (Because there aren't any, besides "Toys in the Attic") They don't produce albums - they produce singles. Stones, Beatles, Dylan, Led Zep, Who, Springsteen, etc. all, in the peak of their career, produced strings of entire albums full of good music.
Let's not kid ourselves - Aerosmith is a popular band from the 70s and 80s, but by no means are they "classic", or even "important".
Redeeming qualities:
- Steven Tyler begat Liv Tyler.
- That video with Liv Tyler and whats-her-name from the movie "Clueless".
- "Dude Looks Like A Lady" - while an incredibly stupid song - was perfect for the "Mrs. Doubtfire" soundtrack.
- Joe Perry is a good guitarist.
2006 Update
They still suck:
- The 2006 July 4th concert with the Boston Pops. There isn't a person on Earth that can convince me that this crap-tastic performance "rocks" or even deserved to be filmed for posterity. If the introduction from Dr. Phil (Dr. Phil!) or the fact that Aerosmith let big-money co-opt their "music" for patriotic propaganda doesn't do it for you, then just watch until the "scream" at the 2:12 mark.
- Tom Hamilton, the bass player, looks like Dauber from the TV show "Coach".
- I heard "Love In An Elevator" today on the radio. God - please make it stop.
Redeeming Qualities:
- They appeared in a cool Saturday Night Live Wayne's World skit. "Aerosmith is in my breakfast nook! Aerosmith is sitting in my nook where I eat my Nut and Honey Crunch every morning."
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Reader Comments (10)
Just have to say that Aerosmith is so overrated and I cringe when I hear their pop crap on the radio.
By the way, I don't listen to their music, on purpose, but because of you lame wussies, I have to because you lame wussied make them popular.
My only point is that Aerosmith is not rock. In my opinion, there is nothing different between them and other pop bands of the 70's like Boston and Styx. They are one step away from disco.
But who am I. I am not gay, so I don't listen to crap.
Well if nothing else this crazy website has inspired me to listen to some old Aerosmith. I agree that they are definitely not the rock band that they were in the 70's, but I have learned to live with it. I just listen to the old stuff, and buy it in the newest techno form. Just naming three favorites of mine, Bruce, Jackson Browne (I know, not rock), and Aerosmith..they went down the uncreative, commericial pipeline to nowhere and it has just become the norm. Let's compare Tunnel of Love to Thunder Road, or For Everyman to She's Got to be Somebody's Baby (or whatever the hell the name is)...so they are not alone. I don't even buy the new stuff anymore. As soon as the first BS album (cd, whatever) comes out I just stick with the oldies. I thought maybe they were playing to a younger crowd, but ironically my 21 year old daughter loves the old stuff and couldn't believe it was the same Aerosmith. She actually LOOKED IT UP ONLINE because she didn't believe me, lol.
Anyway, argue on everyone.
wowww if you hate Aerosmith why did u publish a whole blog about them?? and your a fuckwit.greatest rock band ever. look at the songs...
1 Janies Got A Gun
2 Livin' on the edge
3 Love In An Elevator
4 Sweet Emotion
5 Dream On
i could go on............
if you don't like them, don't listen to them but don't poison the Internet with your shit. go listen to 'simon and garfunkel' or whatever shit you want but leave everyone else alone u shitweed.
... you know, I did find this post by googling up "I hate Aerosmith". Glad to see someone was able to put it into concise terms.
Aerosmith sucks. A bunch of sellouts. Pussies galore. Used to rock. Now jsut looking to make money. So sorry they are sellouts. Could still make some great music if they were that ambitious. Unfortunately they are old.
Aerosmith not important? HA Without them there would be no guns n roses, a band who pumped out 4 great albums in sucession who influenced even more bands, in the words of ax; rose "Antagonize them. mother f***er" and your an idiot just for posting this shit
I have to admit even being a die-hard Aerosmith fan for years, this was pretty entertaining.
I love how you diehards say things like "america's band"... I sure as hell didn't vote for that.
Also, you're right... without Aerosmith there'd be no GnR... no annoying, tone-deaf lead singers that sound like they're molesting a cat.
Salud.
Fuck this. Night in the Ruts, Get Your Wings and Rocks are reason enough to peg them as an A-list band.
i hav problems with this. first, aerosmith may not have 3 important albums from their prime, but whats wrong with their singles? and what about permanent vacation??? also their best of album, kylie did one and she did wow wow wow after that ( not comparing kylie to aerosmith, not at all) joey kramer can keep a beat and all so i dont see how he is less than average, thanks. and the power ballards? well they show something don't they, and they are good! and btw the one from the movie armageddon? its i dont wanna miss a thing. the 5th best song of the 80's/90's dont remember which. and love in the elevator is one of their best songs! and they are important. they have an aerosmith rollercoaster, and they are big in america from what i have heard. and, joe perry is an excellent guitarist, he ranked 40 something on the rolling stones greatest guitarist thing. and steven tyler begating liv? thats not a reason to like aerosmith. that is not what steven tyler is famous for. he is amazing. and dude looks like a lady was not a stupid song, thanks.
so that is my argument.